Tormeron's events: the Stories

It's happy hour, the alcohol is flowing. It's time to pull up a tankard of ale, bottle of wine for the ladies and regail tales of heroism and grandeur.

Topic/Postby Gergel » 26 May 2015, 10:46

As these things often do, the adventure started with a call for help.

Adrenus was being attacked by an half-demon, half-iron-orc, half-black-dragon, half-Garrosh-Hellscream, half-vampire, half-Princess-Theradras hybrid creature with eight heads, each of which was breathing different kind of substance: whipped cream, deadly poison, pure clean spring water, boring old fire, a different kind of deadly poison, crude oil (that head was very careful not to get breath streams crossed with the fire-breathing head!) and true love. One head had a sore throat and stayed out of the substance-breathing business, but under different circumstances, it would probably have been breathing something awesomely terrifying, like liquid rainbows with pink fluffy unicorns dancing on them.

Wait, no. That didn't happen. Although it would have been awesome if it had.

Instead of Adrenus, there was Arthuron. And instead of the multi-headed creature described earlier, there was good old Joe the Riddling Skeleton. But Joe indeed had a problem and was calling for help.

As Joe narrated the story, he and his motley crew of lesser skeletons had been happily wandering around Northrend, causing no harm to the peaceful settlers, staying away from the Argent Crusade who might not like a large group of unaffiliated skeletons, and generally enjoying the sights. Up until recently, when a certain person in Argent armour had started to pay unpleasantly close attention to Joe. Which is to say, he was doing his best to kill Joe, following him and his skeletons relentlessly through Northrend, firing arrows, hiring hunters and mercenaries to track them and so on.

This was somewhat surprising to Thelarwen, as such actions differed from the Argent Crusade's usual methods. Not only that, but the Crusade should have, in fact, been cautiously neutral towards Joe, after Thelarwen's report had pointed out that he was not mindless nor hostile nor affiliated with the Scourge or other such groups. There was little time for wondering if the man chasing Joe was angry about a too-complicated riddle, or if Joe had owed him money while he was still alive (and covered in flesh), or if the man just randomly started hating the easy-going skeleton dude. Already a hunter was approaching rapidly from a distance, so Joe made a hasty exit.

It didn't come as a surprise to anyone that the Tauren hunter and his lion pet were hunting Joe. According to him, there was a bounty of 200 gold on Joe's head. That, of course, raised a bit of a greedy gleam in Clara's eyes (as we all know, Clara is in fact not a human but two goblins standing on each other's shoulders inside that black spiky armour). The hunter didn't seem to be a particularly good one, though, as he immediately made a beeline... in a completely wrong direction. Oh well.

Where would one find an Argent Crusader, if one wanted to have a heart-to-heart chat with one about attacking riddler-skeletons? Why, in the nearest Argent Crusade camp, of course. If he is not there, at least the people there should know where to find him. So the group headed through Crystalsong Forest to the Argent beachhead at the border of Icecrown.

Their first encounter was with a small group of guards who were idling next to a path that led up to the camp proper. The group seemed generally peaceful, except for a very large, rash, gruff and, boisterous Argent Crusader. That particular man spent no time whatsoever on trying to make friends or influence people and instead began to arrogantly brag about his strength and power, threaten Clara and Silsbury who dared to say something he didn't agree with, and generally was somewhat of an arse.

"Skeleton? What skeleton? I don't know anything about a skeleton!" was his general attitude towards Joe. Who cares about a random skeleton? So he's not hostile... who cares? So people assume this boisterous man was hunting him? He wasn't, but who cares. So there are a bunch of other people hunting that skeleton too? Who cares?

Until the moment when he found out that there was a bounty of 200 gold. Then he cared. A lot. Enough to grab his weapon, a few of his buddies, and run head-over-heels towards where he thought Joe might have been. He had not been interested in Joe before, but he sure was now.

Good going there, guys. Telling the crusader that there was a big bounty? Sending him after poor Joe, as if the skeleton didn't have enough trouble as it is?

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about it," said another crusader who met the group after the burly bloke had run off. The man was slimmer, more intelligent, peaceful and completely willing to have a reasonable conversation. "He will just come back once he gets cold. He's not exactly one of our most intelligent members, but strong and brave and very good at killing the Scourge."

So the group once again inquired about Joe and the person in Argent armour who was hunting him.

He was a blood elf, the crusader explained. Not a member of the Argent Crusade. He had not been a member to begin with, and now was in fact on their blacklist and deeply disdained. He had arrived at the encampment early in the morning a few days ago, posted a bounty letter concerning a specific skeleton (clearly Joe), and then greatly angered the Crusade by desecrating a tomb and stealing a set of Argent armour from a dead crusader's body. And then he had disappeared using magic.

"You can easily tell him from a real crusader," the man said. "He does not fight with his sword but instead with fire spells."

Once the crusader had returned to the camp, Arthuron and Co. began to discuss their next steps. Clearly they needed to find the fake crusader and have a word with him. But how to find him? And also, how to in turn keep him from finding and destroying Joe?

Serendipity suggested a clever plan of disguising someone as a skeleton and trying to lure the elf out into the open. Noggenfogger Elixir might be useful. Aroona (who had spent most of the trip talking to herself in the stag tongue) and Arthuron bravely stepped up and volunteered to wander randomly in Crystalsong for a week, disguised as Joe.

Perhaps that would attract the elf's attention. If not earlier, then at least on next Tuesday! Time to put that theory to the test.
What kind of sick individual burns a book full of perfectly good dark arts?!
- Darkscryer Raastok
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Gergel
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