Laissez Faircog, the Economancer

It's happy hour, the alcohol is flowing. It's time to pull up a tankard of ale, bottle of wine for the ladies and regail tales of heroism and grandeur.

Topic/Postby Erethas » 05 Jan 2010, 17:04

Laissez Faircog, the Economancer

(This is an introduction for my goblin character that I wrote in the official forums, and thought that since I got into the trouble, might as well post it here too. By the way, read this as if watching a movie trailer)

[Tense bass line begins playing, with quick-cut views of the Undermountain]

Don LaFontaine: Laissez Faircog was a successful young goblin economic advisor.

[Close up of Laissez walking down a row of offices with a satisfied grin on his face]

Don LaFontaine: He had it all. Money, women, charm, and a promising career in front of him.

[Quick cuts of him enjoying a decadent lifestyle and closing important-looking business deals]

Don LaFontaine: However, the spirits of Earth and Fire had.... other plans...

[Scratching record sound cuts the bass line. The volcano erupts. Fast drum beats accompany scenes of fleeing goblins. Close up of Laissez looking shocked and unable to react]

Don LaFontaine: But what he thought was his end...

[Soothing violin music. Laissez is washed ashore, unconscious. At the edge of the frame, a hoof appears]

Don LaFontaine: Was just the beginning...

[Laissez, covered in a rug, sits opposite a tauren shaman on his campfire]

Tauren: The spirits of water brought you to me, young one.

Laissez: I am pretty sure it was the tide...

[Music builds up to a more inspirational tune. Montage of the two walking along ridges, viewing amazing vistas in New Zealand, and meditating]

Tauren: There is a world you cannot see. A world you cannot touch. The world of the elements. But if you are willing to listen, they will speak to you.

Laissez: But I am just an economic advisor, why would I care about what the fire or water or pudding or whatever it is you worship has to say to me?

Tauren: You will find that the elemental spirits come in many forms. You might have even been hearing them for a long time now, but didn't know who the voice belonged to.

Laissez: You don't say.....

[Record scratch. Upbeat hip-hop background music starts playing. Panoramic view of Ogrimmar, and quick cuts of various landmarks as if viewed by a moving car. Finally, cuts to the Auction House, where Laissez, wearing shamanistic clothing is seen sitting down in the middle, and meditating between totems]

Laissez: (In a trance-like voice) Wool cloth prices.... rising.... Arcanite..... will briefly fall, but merely price correction....

Don LaFontaine: This Spring, get ready for a Shaman with an attitude!

[Cut to Laissez as he turns to face the camera]

Laissez: Oh, I am a financial shaman, but you can also call me a witch-investor.

Don LaFontaine: Who is not afraid to fight for his beliefs.

[Laissez talks to a large crowd in the central plaza]

Laissez: People of Ogrimmar! You must cast down the chains of oppression! Your clan-based, meta-hunter-gatherer society cannot support a healthy economy! The Spirits of the Market yearn to be free!

[Cut to Laissez fleeing from an angry mob]

Don LaFontaine: It's the Economancer! (Rated "A" for "Awesome")
Erethas
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