Musings of a Dreamer

Take a look into the life of a not-so-ordninary servant of the light!

Topic/Postby Lilandris » 28 Aug 2015, 10:24

Musings of a Dreamer

More rambling soliloquy. Enjoy..?

Also, I love the word "soliloquy"


Musings of a Dreamer

It's a shame when you find yourself thinking that you no longer like to dream. Every night I pray I will have a dreamless sleep. But I have been a dreamer all my life. I like to think it has helped me a few times as well; good qualities of persona extracted from the experiences of the dream world. But these last few years, I've rarely had dreams of joy and ease. Not that every night brings a nightmare. Far from it, in fact. But the dreams often leave an eerie and unsettling feeling behind when I wake, sometimes it will stay with me all day. Doesn't help that I'm a woman who knows an omen when she sees one, either. On mornings like these I might fill up an ashtray before I even leave the house. I really disapprove of my habits sometimes. But maybe this was just one of those days where I question most everything about myself, ruthlessly.
*Sigh* "Apathy does not behoove you, Lil"
Staring into the ceiling wasn't going to chase it off though, nor any amount of tobacco. Apathy - nasty feeling - Like swimming in tar. Sinking. Powerless... Need a hand.
I've had many a strange dream. Last night's dream was no more peculiar than any other I've had, nothing special, but it seems a bit clearer for some reason. Not like other dreams that fade from your mind completely with your morning tea. - Creatures of the night, indeed.
In the dream I was returning from a battle, seemingly in defeat. We're in Pandaria somewhere, the steppes of Kun'Lai I think. I'm quite battered and worn, and I carry my wife over my shoulders. She's wounded, but bandaged up properly and asleep from exhaustion. We're not alone, though. Around us are other people staggering the same way, some Pandaren, the rest other people of the Alliance... We sure managed to tear that continent in half as well, like the rest of this world. - Two hungry wolves fighting over a rabbit carcass. Our shameful walk home just goes on eternally. Never getting any further away from the smell of the dead, nor any closer to the village in the distance. The burden on my shoulders feeling heavier every other step, but a burden I would never want to be without.
I guess I feel guilty about Pandaria. All the things that happened there. The aftermath of which we still feel every day. At least that warmongering thick-skull Garrosh met his fate, though perhaps not the intended way, nor the most satisfying one. I wonder if the Pandaren feel deprived of their justice. Maybe not. They have an impressive way to come to terms with hardship through their philosophies. I admire them for their inner balance, I feel like I often lack it. Probably the reason why I'm sat here right now with a tobacco roll between my fingers.
I suppose my dream has some sort of meaning. I believe most dreams have one. But right now I can't bear to think about it, nor can I be bothered to.
"Apathy does not behoove you, Lil." *sigh*
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